she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
