Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
