his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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