I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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