Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
