cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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