i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
