Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
