i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
