Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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