All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
