I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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