Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
