I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When are your genitals available?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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