I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
