nut hugger
4 words: hood of his car
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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