discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
