Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
