The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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