i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need to calm my uterus...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
