this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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