I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
