i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
