Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
