Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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