.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
