It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
