I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
