The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
