Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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