Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
God, I missed his penis.
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