I heard we made out
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Randomize
