sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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