He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
