Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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