Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
