My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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