she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
