life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
