I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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