Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
