my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
