Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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