remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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