Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
