just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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