at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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