He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
false alarm, still single
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
