1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
