He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Enjoy the penises
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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