You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
