Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
