ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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