So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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