So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
