these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
