Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
