Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
