Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
