She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
