Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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