he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
two words...techno handjob
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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