This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I didn't notice because vodka
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
