some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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