id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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