i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
